Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
