Umm I'm too high to move.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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