He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
