He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
