she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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