ugly people sure do ruin things
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
