I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize