I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
