This girl is more easily done than said...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
