I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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