i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
