Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
