Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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