I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Girls should come with a carfax report
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
