currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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