So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
