My first STD was from a foam party
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
