the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
