The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bring me that man meat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
