dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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