I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
