I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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