But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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