those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
