we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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