Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
