god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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