I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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