Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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