allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
