do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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