Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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