Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
