carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
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It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.