Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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