If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.