I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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