it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
