if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think my moral compass just broke
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
