I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
