i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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