Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
