census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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