Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
