so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
