We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
