nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
