i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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