bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
that may or may not have been my penis.
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