So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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