worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
