Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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