He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
