I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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