I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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