she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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